Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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