Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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