i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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