Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
