Moan for me like Helen Keller
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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