That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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