we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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