I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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