It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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