We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
