I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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