dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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