it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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