never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
