In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
