Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
