Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Someone came in the potted fern
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize