she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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