She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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