we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
