I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
