How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
