Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
