Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
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Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
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There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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