why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
The adults are the big ones right?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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