So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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