i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
