I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
