I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
