I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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