I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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