Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
