Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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