how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
