Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
