i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
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Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
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You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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