Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
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i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
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we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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