you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
