dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
North Korea, Best Korea!
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
