I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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