Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
