You're so nebulous sometimes
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
