I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
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