some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
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