My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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