just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
