Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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