i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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