I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Did I show you my penis last night?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
