Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
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Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
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Maybe he injected his testicle?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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