I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
