my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize