I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
