I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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