OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
