it wasn't lemon gatorade
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
