just tell him i said nine months
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
