Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
