Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
