everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
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He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
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I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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