Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize