And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
