i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
